Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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