p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
