I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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