That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
