this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
