wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
