Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
