I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize