Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
