So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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