"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
PANTIES FOUND
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