so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize
