Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i think i have two assholes
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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