Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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