4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Already got asked if we're dating
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
