Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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