How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
