so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Pooping to opera.
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