I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
