he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
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