Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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