I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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