I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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