I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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