I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
