everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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