and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
