i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
