My hand turned me down
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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