I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
