a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
