u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
