Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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