All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize