She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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