I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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