If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Do vagina's smell?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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