went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
