i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
