from now on my penis is your penis
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
