i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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