she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
