it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
