Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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