thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
