what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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