They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
