still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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