I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
