I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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