Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize