I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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