Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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