my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
