I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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