our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
