I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
