just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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