Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
