I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
