We won't sleep together?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i may or may not be watching the land before time
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize