Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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