farters have to be the big spoon...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
